Saturday, May 1, 2010

March on May Day. against the Arizona Bill

So last minute, my friend Anna and I decided to join in a March against the new Arizona bill that will bring racial profiling and discrimination against many people. It was good to see democracy at work and people of every walk of life coming together and peacefully demonstrating the need for change and reform on such an important issue.
I also learned something valuable this week which was a semi-hard lesson, and made me realize that even in this day and age of instant communication from practically anywhere with practically anything, you can still be misunderstood in your intentions. Case in point: I posted a remark on my Facebook status that people began to sound off on, some were in agreement with my status and some were not. As I responded to comments, ther was one active participant in particular, that I thought we were just having a lively debate about a very important issue. I later learned that my active opponent thought that I was personally attacking her with my statements. I was shocked, because that was not my intention at all. I was just responding to what was being said. Anyway, this person privately emailed me and said as much and then deleted me as a friend before I even got the chance to respond to what I was accused of. Until that point, I never had taken anything that was said personally. I did take the "unfriending" really personally though and in the first time in a long time, a person other than someone in my immediate family made me cry. I couldn't believe that out of the two of us, the active debator thought I was the one doing the attacking. Out of anyone, I thought I should be the one entitled to being offended, since I have myself have an immgrant husband and mixed race children as well as many friends who I know that are not legal residents of the U.S.A. but who contribute in many valuable ways to our community. Anyway, I did respond to the email I was sent, and explained in much more detail my position that I could not really state in such a public forum as my Facebook profile page. The person turned around and added me back as a friend, and I didn't hesitate to accept the request, because out of everything that was said, I had never felt malice or ill will towards this person.
This situation has made me pause and think a bit about all that's going on in our crazy country, and how miscommunication, misunderstandings, and a total lack of willingness to see things from the point of view of others can and will make rifts and damage people's relationships. Usually, I just shut my mouth and don't comment on others political views, but in very rare cases, I cannot help but let my voice be heard especially on something that can potentially put my family at risk and in danger.
I have decided that I refuse to be cowed on this subject. I do not want to be unreasonable, but I will no longer feel bad or guilty if someone's feelings get hurt when they decide to take me on in matters that are close to my heart. And if they don't want to be my friend because everyone has to agree with them, or sugar coat things, then they are not worth my time, and they can unfriend me all they want. I will never unfriend someone who disagrees with me or whatever, but I think I have learned a certain amount of tolerance and patience in my life and have learned that not everyone has to be like me, think like me, act like me or even like me. You might wound be, but you will never break me.